She was never the type to frown or get upset. She was never the type to allow negativity to influence her actions. Nor was she bitter when things didn't go her way. But in fact, she was the type who smiled and always kept calm. She was the positive woman who dictated her own actions with the likes of happiness.
People admire her for her beauty. They admire her for her strength. For her transparency. This woman was made to be someone great. Always preaching about how great things are going to happen for people and for them to keep faith. She had a conversation with her younger sister about life. Her younger sister asked her to describe herself using one word. She answered, "Happy". Her sister said, "Ok. Now describe yourself as an object." She replies,"Umm, round? Squarish? I don't know." Her sister said, "Think of something you love and if you were that, describe yourself." So she thought about it and thought about it. And it finally hit her. She told her sister," If I were an object, I would be a flower. One word to describe myself as that flower would be.......Free. " "I would be free from hurt. Free from pain. Free from loneliness. I would be free from myself. Flowers are free. Yes they get broken and tormented,but they always grow back stronger then ever. I want to be a free flower!" She said.
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Aggravated. Less Motivated. You're thinking crazy.
Your heart is racing. It's pounding, pounding, pounding. You just can't take it. Your mind is blown. Kids are gone. Your bills are due. No money left. You're breaking down. No one you can turn to. So you cry. You sob. Then clean up your tears. Pounding makeup on your scars so no one could see. You're broken down all because you feel defeated. Waiting patiently for a miracle. But you're still in fear. Of being put out. Cussed out. Shut down. Left out. Rejected By those who you thought had you. But all they did was bad mouth you. To the next individual who was blind sighted by you. They thought you had it all together. They thought you knew better. They assumed you could bounce back because you kept a smile on your face. You never pretended to be anyone other than you. Never made yourself look like a disgrace. But they were wrong. You pretended to be happy. So they wouldn't see you drowning. You pretending to stand tall, so they wouldn't see you falling. You pretending to be great, but it was fake. It was just your ego stepping in the way. You weren't in control of you so you'd say. Your excuse for picking up that bottle and that gun was all because life kept turning you away? Is that what you're telling us? Idk was your favorite response. It kept you from explaining and kept us guessing. You loved to laugh but eventually you would cry. Before you pulled that trigger you said,"I was defeated. I was out numbered. I was deprived. " So now you're free, but deprived of what? We will never know. You took the easy way out and it left us cold. ✌🏾️✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾 |
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May 2020
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